Have you ever started to type something into the Google box at the top right corner of the Internet browser screen, and then marveled at the absurd search suggestions that appear? Almost every time I look something up, I’m more intrigued by the questions that Google suggests than by their answers. Keep in mind, these search suggestions are based off what users have searched for, so to some extent, these really are the burning questions of mankind. Here are the who, what, when, where, why and how of Google search suggestions (minus the boring ones).
Who is:
“Who is Lady Gaga?”
“Who is my congressman?”
“Who is the richest man in the world?”
“Who is Taylor Swift dating?”
Hey, at least we’re being politically active. I wonder how many of the people who looked up the richest man in the world came up with the result, “Not you, loser.” Probably not enough.
What:
“What time is it?”
“What not to wear”
“What is love?”
Seriously? How many people did it take to get “What time is it?” on the search suggestions? Not only did they not think of checking a clock, but they also didn’t realize that computers tell time. If I typed “What not to wear” into a PC, I’d expect it to say, “Eh, you look fine. Don’t worry about it.” A Mac might say something like, “Oh, you’re wearing that? Oh. Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be... okay.” As for the last question, you can’t get much nerdier than searching for a textbook definition of love on Google.
When:
“When will I die?”
“When will the world end?”
“When in Rome”
It’s like Ron Burgundy suddenly became overcome with terrible, morbid nightmares.
Where:
“Where’s Waldo?”
“Where is Santa right now?”
No one cares about Carmen San Diego? That’s a shame. We’re down to only two men of mystery: Waldo and Santa.
Why:
“Why do men have nipples?”
“Why is the sky blue?”
“Why is my poop green?”
“Why did I get married, too?”
“Why do dogs eat poop?”
“Why can’t I own a Canadian?”
Two of the questions are about poop, and one of them is particularly disturbing. The American people have spoken, and they want Canadians.
Remember the time I wore a red-and-white-striped Where's Waldo shirt and sat in the stands at your soccer try-out? Good times.
ReplyDeleteYes. I'm pretty sure the coaches remember that, too.
ReplyDelete