Being the New Kid

This is sort of a mini-blog. It's about being the new kid, an area in which I have considerable experience. I've been the new kid so many times I have nightmares about school cafeterias, although I never looked anything like the new kids on the block. Swooshy hair is in no way related to being a new kid, at least not in real life.

I’ve lived eight different places and it’s only taught me one thing: the new kid attracts the weird kids. There’s something about a guy with no friends that makes everyone feel comfortable. Here's the typical weird kid - new kid conversation.

Some Kid: Hey, you’re new here, right?

Me: Yep.

SK: Cool, cool. Where are you from?

Me: Kentucky/New Jersey/Florida.

SK: Oh wow. So you have, like, horses/mafia connections/surf boards and stuff, right?

Me: No, I don’t have any horses/mafia connections/surf boards.

SK: Haha, tell me about it!

Me: Huh?

SK: Hey, you don’t have any friends, do you?

Me: No, I’ve lived here for about three days, so I don’t know too many people.

SK: Uh huh, well I don’t really have any friends, either.

Me: Oh, how long have you lived here?

SK: Since I was four.

Me: Oh.

SK: Hey we should hang out some time.

Me: Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom. Bye.

SK: I'll go with you! So, are you into World of Warcraft or anything like that?

My favorite quote from this kind of scenario is from first grade, when someone came up to me and said, “My mom said I should make some more friends. Want to play with me?” I appreciate the direct approach.

Even though I'm making fun of these weird kids right now, I'm proud that I was nice to them. Also, I enjoyed the fact that they thought I was really cool, since I was the only person they knew who had any self-esteem or athletic ability. We all have our roles to play; I was to the new kid what James Dean was to the rebel.